Happy 15th Blues Brothers

Happy 15th Birthday Jake and Woody. Ten years in my life and five years on my shelf. I think about you each and every day.

Blue Christmas

Gathered the inner strength today to get the holiday decorations out of the closet. I had to rest every so often, but I managed to get the mantle decorated. Try not to lose a pet at the holidays. I thought that giving Maggie the birthday of the day Woody left us would turn sadness into joy, but it's not working so far.

Starting to feel guilty. The pups deserve a happy holiday.

Buried Treasure

In July 2005, the weekend before we moved to Austin, Jake, Woody, and I traveled to Orlando to participate in DACOF with the other folks in our training class. This was our first road trip for agility and my first time traveling with the dogs by myself, as Frank was in Austin finalizing the purchase of our house. There was so much to do with getting our costumes together, decorating the dinner table for the contest, and saying goodbye to my friends. The weekend was a blur and one that I will never forget.

I was so embarrassed by our lousy performance that I hadn't done anything with this video until now. This was our first event indoors on a slippery floor. Little did I know that this would be the norm when we got to Austin. I can watch this video now and smile even though we made so many mistakes. I'm grateful to have the video of my sweet boys.

Time Heals

I just realized today that I missed the Blues Brothers birthday on March 29. They would have turned 13 years old.

Blue Christmas

I really enjoy keeping in touch with agility people from our various hometowns, but it's so hard to read about the exploits of dogs who used to compete with Jake and Woody. Why are all these dogs still around and my boys are gone? It's so hard.

Coming up on a really hard day. December 23. We had to put Woody down. I had called the vet to see what days they were open. We had company coming December 24. Woody was bad. I didn't want to have to take him to the ER to be put down. I wanted a familiar place where people knew him. I didn't know how many more days he would last. So we did it and the next day we had to smile and entertain our guests. We never got the time to mourn and I'm still really mad about it.

So December 23, we will say goodbye to Woody again and celebrate Maggie's second birthday. Hopefully one day we'll feel festive about the holidays again.

Fear

Many discussions lately on whether on not you should comfort your dog when it's frightened. It seems that it's OK now to give them comfort as you can't reinforce fear. Having reactive dogs has made me more aware of these situations.

Reading all the posts on reinforcing fear brought back memories. Jake and Woody were frightened of loud noises, fireworks, and thunderstorms. Woody would claw at me to pick him up when he was frightened. We would cuddle during storms, the longest being the two weekends we spent in the laundry room during the hurricanes. I used to long for storms so I could cuddle with Woody as he was very aloof. On his last day, when he was so sick, Woody clawed at my leg to pick him up and cuddle. There was no storm, but he was frightened. I didn't realize it then.

Walking Maggie alone, without Shane or Frank, has become a struggle. She pauses to sniff every 2 feet. I tried giving the leash a tug, but it didn't work too well. I discovered she would do OK when I was running, but can't keep that up for long. I realize now that she is scared to be out there with all the noises so I am treating her every chance I get. Our walks are shorter but I can tell she is having fun.

I so envy people who can just take their dogs for a walk. Our walks are intense training sessions. Twice a day. Every day. Takes its toll.

We'll Always Remember You

While cleaning up my files, I found a few video clips that I hadn't used in previous videos, so I was inspired to create a tribute video for Woody.

Out With the Old and In With the New

Need to make room for Shane's ribbons, so decided to toss out Jake's ribbons instead of buying another plastic bin. Going through the ribbons wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I found the very first ribbon that Jake won at our very first trial that got us into this whole costly mess. I'm going to do something special with that one.

1st place
Novice A JWW
November 23, 2001

I remember it well. Phoenix fairgrounds. Jumpers ring was set up under a grove of trees so it was nice and shady. Jake did great. Over too quickly. On to Standard, and we blew it big time, but the jumpers ribbon hooked me.
Also found the four blue ribbons Jake won at what I call The Perfect Show. Both Jake and Woody qualified in all their runs. Woody got his MX and MXJ that weekend. It was Jake's first show in Novice Preferred as I had given up on his jumping 16 inches. I'm going to make a shadow box to commemorate those magical two days. September 23-24, 2006.

16 inches

My favorite story about Woody was when we were in Phoenix. We were at a NADAC show and the games ring was a mess. We were all waiting to run and the gate steward went ballistic. Too many dogs and no order. "Just tell me the height and the name of your dog." I bit my tongue, but I had to say it. "I have a 16 inch Woody." No one laughed. I thought it was pretty funny, but it was a testament to how intense agility people can get over the stupidist stuff.

Anyhoo. I moved the bars up this week to 16 inches for Shane and he cleared them with no problem. He still doesn't feel as skinny as I would like, but maybe he's just focussing a little better. A 16 inch Shane isn't quite as funny. Missing Woody.

Woody is Home

I picked up Woody's ashes today and brought him home. I'm thrown, once again, by being handed a paper bag. It's a nice paper bag, but my dog is in a bag. The urn is very nice and comes in a velvet pouch.

I left a picture of Woody doing agility for the vet so he could see what a vibrant dog Woody once was. No one in Texas got to see Woody in his prime. He was at his best in Florida where he ran like the wind in the venues there. Woody was never the same after our first show in Hutto. That slippery floor and noisy teeter really affected him. We still long for the rodeo arenas of Florida. The temperature was great and the atmosphere very relaxed. We really had a good time at shows there.

Dog Day

Friday we drove up to Belton to walk Shane around the agility ring. Frank came along to see if Shane behaved any differently with him and he did. Shane did very well with Frank and got a little feisty with me. He still reacts to dogs barking at him. We stayed for about an hour and then drove down to the TAG field so Shane could run for a bit. Afterward, we went shopping for dog food and a new collar. Shane was pretty pooped.

Thinking of Woody
On the way home from Belton, we realized that we didn't need the baby lock on the car doors anymore. Shane lays quietly on the seat while Woody would put his paws on the door handle and gaze out the window. If the baby lock wasn't on, the window would go down when Woody stepped on the button. Now that Woody is gone we also don't have to hide our towels and pillows. Woody would rub on the towels and lick our pillows. We also get to sleep in as Shane doesn't stand on me to get up and feed him. Shane goes with the flow. Woody also insisted on his walks at very specific times and Shane could care less. Woody would only eat certain things, turning his bowl over when he was unhappy, while Shane eats anything and everything. Life is very different now. We do miss Woody terribly, but the change is nice.

When Jake died, we cried for months. What was different this time? We knew what was wrong with Woody. We didn't know how long he had, but we could tell he was going down fast. The vet and the vet tech were so nice that last day. I didn't know them, but it was probably best that we didn't. If people I knew were there, I may have really broken down. Jake's passing was so stressful and traumatic. Woody's passing was peaceful and we had a chance to say goodbye at home. That's the only thing I can think that was different. Woody left us the way that I wish Jake had. I still feel badly that he spent his last week in the hospital. I hope I redeemed myself with Woody's passing.

Blast from the Past

I was cleaning out my office and found this article that I wrote for my clubs newsletter in 2000. I must be OK, because I can read this stuff and not cry.

A Different Kind of Rescue Story
Woof! Summer 2000

From time to time, we all do things that we would rather not have publicized.... but some of them are so funny, that keeping it a secret would simply be criminal! Good Dog club member, Susan DeMar, had one of these moments at our picnic. Following is what happened from her Sheltie's (Jake) point of view.

Woody and I had a wonderful time at the picnic in June. I'm Jake and my brother is Woody - the two blue merle shelties. Our Mom, bless her soul, tries her best, but she is really a spaz at handling. She couldn't get me out of my perpetual loop in the tunnel and poor Woody was too freaked to go over the dog walk.

Unfortunately, Mom is not only a spaz at handling; she is a spaz at life. On the way back to the car, she put the crate down by the trunk because she wanted to get us into the air conditioning. When she turned it on full blast, I kinda freaked out and she slammed the car door so I wouldn't jump out. Here's where the controversy lies.... Did she lock the door or did I? We'll never know.... There we were trapped in the car, but at least the air conditioning was on.

We watched as Mom ran around the parking lot looking for a cell phone. Luckily, Abbey's Mom was just leaving and gave her one. She called our Dad, but he wasn't in the house. Then we saw Mom flag down a nice man in a giant truck and he tried to open the door with his antenna. That was fun to watch. Finally, I saw Mom get a man off the rood of the latrine and he called the fire department. Now the fun begins!

First the Gilbert police show up and offer to break the car window. Mom probably would have done it but the air conditioning was going full blast and we were fine. A big fire truck pulls up and three men with a bunch of tools start working on the door. Even with a manual, it took them some time to open the door. Mom was glad it was so hard to break into her car. We were fine and enjoyed all the attention.

Dad was so glad that we were OK that he didn't get mad at Mom. The car is a little scratched, but who cares. Everyone is fine and that's all that counts.

Thank you all for helping my Mom at the picnic. Good Dog Agility people are good people. And special thanks go to the Gilbert Police and Fire Departments. They are good dog people too!

Jake and Woody DeMar

Tuesday

5:30 am
Woody gets me up twice to go outside. I try to feed him and he doesn't want anything. I try turkey, brie, treats. Nothing interests him. I need to get those pills into him. I can't get back to sleep so I just stayed up playing computer games. Woody bugs me again to go outside and I just leave the door open. A few minutes later I go to find him and he's laying out on the deck in the freezing rain. Here is a boy who hated going out in the rain. I got him back inside.

6:30 am
Gets me up again to go outside. Licking the water off the deck. Managed to slip him his pills in a piece of bread, but he isn't interested in treats.

8:00 am
Discovered some vomit. Hope it's not his pills. Woody keeps clawing at me for something. I take them outside in the cold rain and he won't eat anything. Back inside. Won't eat bread. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

8:30 am
Woody is clawing my leg. Can't tell what he wants. We go for our walk and he's really slow. Frank managed to get about 1/3 of a jerky into him. Back home, he claws my leg some more and I just put him in my lap, where he stays for a while. Very unusual for him. I make the appointment for 1:30 today.

2:00 pm
Woody died in Frank's arms this afternoon. We will miss him.

Monday

4am
Woody gets me up twice to go outside. I tried giving him a treat and he refused. Left him on the floor in the kitchen, which is where he was when I got up at 7am.

7am
Won't eat. Won't take his pills. Wants to go back outside. Just lays on the deck. It's 35 degrees outside.

8am
Shane and Woody come into my office and bug me for a walk. We manage a really slow walk around the block. Poor Shane is doing his best to walk slowly, but it's hard. Woody manages to eat one turkey jerky and refuses to make any turns to go home. I'm getting cold, so I get him to make that turn. Back home, he manages to get his pills down, so hopefully later on he'll eat some more.

10am
Pills are genius. Woody comes into my office bugging me about something. Get them outside and Woody manages to eat 2 turkey jerkys and a bunch of salmon treats. Shane has figured out that Woody is getting the good stuff for absolutely no reason and is shadowing him everywhere.

1:30 pm
We think Woody is deaf. He doesn't respond until you touch him. We just came in from playing outside. He ate some more turkey jerky. Seems to like to eat outside. I'm wondering if the smells in the house bother him or perhaps he just likes to get treats while he's doing something. I had him touch the teeter and he seemed to perk up. His eyes still look funny.

5pm
We try to go for a walk, but Woody doesn't get too far. After I take Shane for a long walk, I sit on the floor in the kitchen with Woody and he eats some chicken!!! I slipped a pill inside a ball of chopped chicken too. I can't even tell you how relieved I am. The rest of the evening is great.

11 pm
Woody throws up in the living room. I had a hard time getting him to come inside. He loves it out there, but it's freezing. I wonder if the smells in the house are too much for him.

Sunday

Last night Woody fell asleep at dinner and slept all evening. I thought for sure he was going to pass overnight. His belly is swollen and he won't eat. I cried myself to sleep thinking he was going to die out there in the foyer all alone. He doesn't like to cuddle, so I didn't want to bother him.

Sunday is my day to sleep in, so Frank got up with Shane. I expected Frank to find Woody in a pool of blood and hoped that he would wrap him up and hide him before I got up. I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. Around 8 am, Frank opened the door and Shane bounded in to get me up. Then along comes Frank with Woody trailing behind him! What a joy to see my baby up and about. He slept for 12 hours. Drinking water but won't eat. He threw up a little, but probably because his stomach was so empty.

Around 10, I get ready to take Shane for a walk, and Woody seems to want to go too. I decide to strap him in and make a gesture. Maybe go across the street. I grab a few BilJac to see if he'll take a treat. We stand in the driveway and Woody eats all the treats I have. I try to get him back home so I can get some more, but he won't budge. He wants to keep going. Luckily Frank sees us out the window and brings the bag to me. We all keep walking and Frank feeds him as many treats as he wants. Eventually, he starts spitting them out, so we head home.

We had decided last night to put Woody down today. I have another hour before the vet opens. Tough decision.

Lunch
Noon arrives. The vet is open. What do we do? I search the Internet for help and one person wrote that the soul goes out of their eyes. That's when you know. Jake didn't eat for a week and wasn't getting any better. He couldn't even walk. That was tough, but the decision was easy. Woody is sleeping so I sit by him for a while. Shane, of course, envious, comes over and starts barking. Woody's ears perk up and he stands. We go outside to pee. He seems good. Back inside, I decide to give him his pills and he readily takes them. So we sit and eat Pill Pockets for a bit. He eats well. His eyes are bright. His ears are perked up. Won't eat the roast turkey nor the other treats. We decide to wait on our visit to the vet for another day.

2:00
Find Woody by the backdoor with Shane, who starts barking and Woody joins in. Good sign. Out to pee. It's freezing, so I come back inside. Both boys stay out on the deck. Woody is laying out there enjoying the day.

3:00
Shane and Woody are in my office bugging the crap out of me. Just like old times. Both barking to go outside and it is freakin' freezing out there. Woody went over the teeter and we spent some time rubbing his chest.

5:30
Go figure. Woody just ate three turkey jerkys and some treats. He seemed eager to eat and alert. I guess he'll just have good days and bad days. Yesterday was a bad day. Today was a good day.

10:00
Woody came upstairs to watch TV with us. He seems restless, but engaged. So much different than last night. I tried to give him his pills, but he refused the Pill Pockets. Drank a lot of water instead, which is a side effect of the prednisone. He likes being outside in this cold weather. He's out there right now laying on the deck.

One Week Ago

Last Saturday, we were in Kerrville at the USDAA show. I entered Woody in a Veterans class just to have fun. He did pretty good, but the fussy eating was just starting. He was the only entry in 8" so we were guaranteed a blue ribbon, but who cares. I took this picture today, one week later. How quickly things can change.

Saturday

Last night Woody didn't want to go on his evening walk. We walked him out the door and he froze like a statue in the driveway. He ate the rest of the deli turkey for dinner. Frank got him to eat some treats later on.

Woody didn't get me up all night. I made him a scrambled egg and roast chicken for breakfast and he didn't want any of it. He did eat his pill pockets with his pills, so we'll try again later. I'll pick up some more turkey this morning. Near the end, that's all Jake would eat.

I don't want to be come an expert at this.

Woody bugged me a lot this morning like he wanted to go on a walk. We went a little ways and he just stopped, so we went back home. While I was out walking Shane, Frank managed to feed Woody about 8 treats. All are resting comfortably now.

A Memory
This morning while giving Woody his steroid pill, I remembered when I too was on steroids. I had watched Woody clean Jake's eyes and read on the Internet that it was a very special thing. So I stupidly let Woody clean my eyes as well. I woke up the next morning with my eyes swollen shut. Frank drove me to the emergency care and they put me on steroids. I felt like a complete idiot explaining to the doctor what I had done. I'll never forget the look on his face.

Evening
We had a lovely walk. Woody made it all the way to the mailbox and back. Seemed even more chipper. We had a little crisis with our pills as it got stuck in his throat and we thought he was choking, but I got it dislodged. He lurched a little. After the walk, he ate a little deli turkey. Was not interested in the roasted chicken or eggs from this morning.

During dinner, we noticed how distended his belly is. It's hard as a rock. If he doesn't eat anything tomorrow morning, we are going to put him down. Either Sunday or Monday. I can't bear to see him struggle anymore. He still seems to want to do things, but he can't.

Off to bed. Woody is sleeping. Breathing is shallow. I don't know if he'll make it to the morning. How can this all happen so fast.

Beginning of the End

Woody had an ultrasound today to figure out where his tumors are located. The vet thought it was either his liver or spleen, and it turns out he has two tumors on his liver and one floating in his abdomen. Everything is pressing on his stomach so he can eat only a little bit of food at a time. At this point, he'll eat only eggs, chicken, cheese, treats, and turkey. No dog food is appealing. So now that we know, Woody can eat whatever he wants. Ironically, I feel at peace now. I can freely spoil him without worrying about his health.

Tomorrow, we are setting up his favorite agility stuff in the backyard. He loves the tunnel and the teeter, so that's what we are doing.

Woody

Monday I took Woody to the vet because his appetite was waning. The vet said his liver seemed swollen, which didn't surprise me much because he's had liver issues for quite some time. Woody got a shot for nausea and a vial of Pepcid. For the last few days, Woody has been picky with his food, only eating turkey, eggs, cheese, and chicken. I tried various dog foods but he wasn't interested.

Yesterday, I called the vet about Woody's sneezing and was told to try Benadryl. Woody's eyes looked funny and he kept rubbing his snout. I remembered that last year our Christmas photo was ruined because Woody sneezed. Maybe he's allergic to something this time of year? The Benadryl made him even more lethargic.

Today, I called the vet again. I discovered vomit in the hallway and lots of diarrhea in the backyard. Long story short, Woody may have either a tumor in his liver or his spleen. I'm taking him into the vet tomorrow for another ultrasound. We are not going to put him through surgery. I hope there is someway to keep him comfortable through Christmas.

Deja Vu

Here we go again. I can't believe it's happening again so soon. I'm trying to get Woody to eat. Just like Jake barely over a year ago. It's so frustrating. The vet was no help. Woody will eat treats and turkey jerky, but no dog food. I got him to eat some bread today with some salmon on it. Wouldn't touch his dinner.